30 things I learned turning 30
Within the last year, May 2024, I turned 30 years old. This feels like a huge milestone in life and comes with many contrasting depictions - ‘30 is old’, ‘your thirties are the best years of your life’, ‘everyone is more settled at 30’, ‘people still have no idea what they’re doing at 30’.
The lead up to turning 30 definitely felt like a momentous occasion, but then things were… the same. I didn’t wake up and feel as though I had magically changed overnight into this ultra-sophisticated put-together adult woman. I still felt as though I had no idea what I was really doing. But I think the most mature thing about turning 30 was accepting that that’s okay, learning that we are all on different paths, and understanding that everyone’s milestone birthday is going to look completely different.
Here are 30 things I have learned before and since turning 30 that I hope will comfort and resonate with you on your own life journey:
On perceptions
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Care less what people think - not everyone is going to like you, so you may as well do what you want to anyway. You don’t need to try and be cool, just be yourself!
Doing things alone - the cinema, dinner, holidays - is an empowering experience.
It’s okay to say no to things you don’t want to do.
Life isn’t fair.
Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy things for children.
It’s okay to not have everything worked out.
It’s okay to be quiet, or not the loudest person in the room, and just take things in and listen.
On relationships
Your female friendships are one of the most important and long-lasting relationships you will ever have.
It’s important to still be yourself and have your own interests in a relationship.
You should be able to say what you want in bed.
It’s okay to be unsure about having kids.
It’s okay to be single or not married.
It’s valid to leave a relationship that isn’t making you happy anymore.
On time
It’s a privilege for those who still have both parents.
30 isn’t old!!
Experiences are so much more valuable than material possessions.
Time is the most important thing and the thing you can’t get back - so don’t wish your life away no matter how much you are looking forward to the weekend!
You’re not behind in life, you’re taking things at your own pace.
Grief isn’t linear and never goes away fully, it comes and goes in waves.
On careers
A job is never worth your mental health.
There isn’t a deadline on success - you can change careers at any time.
Make time for your hobbies and creative outlets for your own sanity.
Success means different things to different people.
Everyone gets imposter syndrome but you are much more capable than you think you are.
On self
Always wear SPF!
Everyone should go to therapy at least once.
You won’t have your teenage body forever - people put on weight and that’s okay.
Get that tattoo you’ve been thinking about - you can always get it removed or covered up if you change your mind.
Hangovers are going to get unbearable - trust me.
Written by Ally McLaren
Editor
Hi, I’m Ally, Editor of This Modern Struggle Magazine.
You may have seen my writing in Mouthy Magazine or Darling Magazine. I currently work in Marketing and PR and do freelance copywriting on the side. I also have experience in journalism and feature writing for women’s magazines and national press.
When I’m not writing you can find me eating pizza, stroking my cat and watching true crime documentaries.
I started this magazine for all the fellow strugglers who feel the same way that I do; like everyone else has it all figured out and you just don’t know what you’re doing in life.